Personal Psychology: Part III

Can you say trust issues?

I don't think trusting anyone for anything or for any reason is wise. Everyone has their own selfish agenda, and coming into anything with that knowledge is the key to not facing disappointment (or at least not as much disappointment).

What's the point in trusting people who seek things like revenge rather than others' happiness? I am no better than anyone else in this category, but I, too, am human. Unfortunately, that mean that human nature applies to me as much as the rest of the population.

I'm cruel and cold and cynical. I use people for my own means. I don't even like people, really. To me, they're all useless walking clumps of flesh and marrow. They speak too loudly and too idiotically. Why deal with them?

...oh yeah. I need them for entertainment.

Then again, I'll always prefer books, comics, and video games to actual beings. Or animals. Anything but people, please.

Maybe in good moods I'm a little more tolerant. Maybe there's a few people I actually care for. Generally speaking, though, I have no reason, in my opinion, to give a damn about another person. I'm kind of a hater to living organisms that resemble myself. Oh well.

Right now I hate everyone. I'm not in a good mood, nor do I care to be in one...

"The only thing that could spoil a day was people." - Ernest Hemingway

And they sure do it well.


Sincerely Cynical,
Kaci

Personal Psychology: Part II

Anxiety.

It plagues me and imprisons me. It tears at my mind and watches my every move.


By definition, anxiety is a feeling of worry about something that has happened, is happening, or has yet to happen. It's both one of the easiest and hardest things for me to talk about. Easy because I am nearly always experiencing it, and hard because it can be very confusing.

Everyone has to deal with it sometimes. Being nervous is a common occurrence, and we all worry about things from time to time.

This being said, some of us worry a lot more than others do. When anxiety becomes very common and long-lasting, there's a chance that it could be generalized anxiety disorder or another anxiety problem. I'm not saying I have these conditions, of course. I have traits for them, but a lot of people share those traits. It takes a professional to determine if someone has a mental illness.

I get worked up about things very easily. I can feel my heart begin to race at the slightest things. I wake up in the mornings terrified and nervous about everyday activities. Sometimes it's pretty much more than I can handle.

This being said, my anxiety is helpful in a few ways. For one thing, it makes me worry about school stuff a lot. That can be awful, but it also keeps me motivated to do well.

I hope to one day master my anxiety, or at least the bad parts of it. I want to fight my flaws, not let them take me over and win. It's a daily battle for now, but I can dream.

"Oh, the nerves, the nerves; the mysteries of this machine called man!" - Charles Dickens

Dickens knows how to sum things up as well as anyone. Ah, the mysteries and the plague that are anxiety.

Sincerely Cynical,
Kaci